My Daughter Wants to Know Where She Gpt Her Attitide From... You Got It From Me Homegirl Quotes

At Empowering Parents, we often hear from parents who feel frustrated at their teenager's bad mental attitude and irresponsible behavior. Whether information technology'due south doing well in schoolhouse or keeping a job, some kids just don't seem to care.

And many teens have what James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation® child behavior programme, calls a "dreamer" mentality. These dreamers believe that an exciting, loftier paying job will simply land in their laps. Therefore, good grades or a less-than-perfect chore is seen as unnecessary.

The danger is that kids use this fantasy to justify ignoring their responsibilities. And parents go frustrated when they try to talk sense into a child who just won't listen to reason. What kind of life will their kid accept if they can't even listen to reason? If they can't take life more seriously?

But your child may not be mature enough or willing to take this adult point of view. Which is why their attitude should not be your main concern. Here's what you should do instead.

Erica's Story

My friend Erica describes what happened with her teenage son terminal year:

"Our 17-year-old has the worst mental attitude nigh school. He refuses to do any homework and says it's stupid. He complains that it doesn't have anything to do with the real world and that he doesn't even need to become to schoolhouse to go a good job. Instead, all he has to do is get 'really skillful at video games' because he believes he can get a high paying job 'testing' them without graduating from high school. When I tell him I don't call up this is going to happen, he rolls his eyes, looks at the ceiling, and lets out a big, over-dramatic sigh. He behaves every bit if I don't empathize what life is like today."

Any attempt Erica makes to talk with him nigh school, getting a regular job, or even virtually physical steps he might accept to get ane of those game testing jobs is met with the "adults don't know anything" attitude.

"He has such a simulated sense of entitlement and a complete misunderstanding of reality. He has this idea that life is going to be and so easy – no work, no schedules, no need to practise anything he doesn't want to. It drives me crazy to encounter him wasting his time when he should be focusing on school so that he can become into higher and become a real job. His attitude is: 'Why should I? I'm better than other people.' How tin can I modify his mental attitude and make him meet reality?"

You lot Can't Make Your Kid Have a Better Mental attitude

If you are in the thick of this kind of power struggle with your teen, you are probably lecturing your child about the importance of difficult piece of work, responsibility, and a good attitude. And it probably isn't working.

Here's the truth: you can't make your child accept a better attitude. It can't be forced. Your child's mental attitude is upwardly to your child. No matter how great, or how based in reality your argument is, you tin't force your child to think about the earth the way that yous do. You can't make her adopt your experiences and your perspective.

Teens volition naturally accept an blah or dismissive mental attitude virtually anything other than what immediately interests them. And when yous focus on trying to change your kid's attitude, yous're setting yourself up for frustration.

Indeed, information technology's a error to effort to change your child's attitude. It will only backlash. Instead, just focus on what y'all tin can control, and that'southward to hold your child accountable for his or her responsibilities.

Focus On the Behavior, Not the Attitude

To exist an empowered parent, you need to learn to ignore the apathetic, all-knowing attitude of your child and, instead, focus on your child's behavior. Let your child know what is expected of him in your domicile, your rules, and the consequences if he doesn't comply with the rules.

For case, if your eye school child says, "I hate English! Why should I do my homework—this is stupid!" Y'all can say:

"I know you think your English consignment is stupid. You don't take to like information technology, but y'all practise need to end information technology. You know the rules. No access to whatever electronics until your homework is completed."

You will find that as your child's behavior improves that his mental attitude will meliorate forth with it.

Don't Try to Strength Your Child to "Want" Something

Don't try to forcefulness your child to "want" to have good grades. Or to "want" to go a job. You but tin't get your kid to want something he doesn't want. In that location are things you can do to influence him, though.

For example, if you lot pay for all your child'south expenses (telephone, car, and entertainment) so he may not desire a job. After all, he doesn't need the coin. Merely, when his amusement funds are cut off, he may suddenly want that job after all, peculiarly if he wants to take money to leave with his friends.

Whether he learns to like his job is unimportant at this point. The important thing is that he figures out that he needs to piece of work to afford the things he wants.

Focus on Skill Building

Every bit a parent, your best bet is to help your kid learn the skills he needs to make his manner in the world. Those skills are the same even if your child wants to practise something y'all think is highly unlikely.

You never know, perchance your child volition get a job as a video game tester. Yous don't need to convince him that y'all are right and he is incorrect.

Instead, focus on the behavior you would like to see change and ignore the attitude. Focus on getting your teen to see his responsibilities in the here and at present—homework, chores, curfew. Once he leaves your firm, he is free to use the skills you've helped him acquire.

Conclusion

For my friend Erica, alter came when she and her husband told their son:

"You don't take to like school. Y'all don't even demand to agree with our version of reality. But yous do need to comply with our rules while you're living here. That means doing your homework, making decent grades, and getting a part-time job."

They also assured their son that if he refused to comply with the house rules, he would feel consequences. To go things started, they told him he could not bulldoze the family car until he'd filled out and dropped off iii job applications.

Within a calendar month, he'd taken a job at a local fast-food restaurant. Although he still insists that the adults don't know anything, his parents experience much less helpless.

Remember, there'south a pay-out for focusing on your child's beliefs and not his attitude: y'all'll exist teaching them one of the greatest lessons of all—how to exist answerable in the existent world.

Related content:
Motivating Underachievers: nine Steps to Have When Your Child Says "I Don't Care"

My Daughter Wants to Know Where She Gpt Her Attitide From... You Got It From Me Homegirl Quotes

Source: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-deal-with-teenage-attitude/

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